Relationship Addiction Suffer

What Is Addiction Relationship?

People who suffer from addiction relations / relationship addict are those who strive accepted and respected others. They experience mental torture by various fears that conflicting with each other. On the one hand they fear abandoned by those they most loved. On the other hand they fear depressed by the closeness of the relationship, for fear of losing control or authority. If they do not get respect, they can be rude and persecute those partners.

What Characteristics?

Cycle are: embedded - panic - refused. Firmly attached - panic - refused. This cycle is common in people who like to control others. People who like this end up miserable because of its links easily fall apart with good friends or relatives own. They are usually socially isolated due to be shunned and despised.


The reason?

John N. Briere, a lecturer at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, found a strong link between the symptoms appear in people who tend to be abusive childhood with a very miserable. Whether it's physical and emotional suffering. Most people assume that the mother who most shape and color the personality of a child. However, the researchers found that the denial of a father is much more powerful alter a boy is good and sweet, a "terrorist" family for their wives, children and society in the future.

Donald G. Dutton, in his book The abusive personality noted that the largest contributor to childhood that makes a person develop into bullies in the order of the most important are:

1. Children due to perceived rejection of the father

2. Perceived children due to "cold" response the father

3. Physical mayhem of the dad

4. Verbal persecution from her father

5. Children due to perceived rejection of the mother

Due to my father since Small Tribulation

The so-called injustice here is not limited to just physical. The most frequent and dangerous are the ongoing assault against a child's self esteem. Moreover, performed in public. Including an attack of sharp words against children. This is what gives the greatest contribution to the formation of a persecutor personality both physically and emotionally.

Those who experienced trauma in childhood often have neurological structures that have been off the mark / twisted in such a way that triggers a very little resemblance will shake and cause a reaction that is very excessive. Children who have abused or neglected in childhood his parents will bury a mixture of anger, shame, distrust and anxiety that is very easy to explode. Once these children become adults, what was once dipendamnya will begin to rise and burst to the surface.

Dutton said that "after some time it exploded, the tendency to persecute become embedded in the system itself. They have become programmed to do injustice to people nearby. "The boy who used to be a victim of trauma is now grown into a persecutor. Actually there is a desire to change him, but more powerful is the feelings that do not want to change. That's why people nearby saw the man's like having two personalities conflicting with each other. One good, one evil.

How to behave?

We tend to respond to an arbitrary person in the two forms of extreme responses: give up or reply. CS Lewis said that passively allow others to control our lives, as if he were God, is an act of idolatry. But responding in a way that is hard and reply actions betray myself for making the victim moved into the persecutor.

You have to realize that, your husband or your father like a mountain which could erupt at any time. Unconsciously, the persecutor is basically hoping his wife could become a substitute parent figure who was not emotionally close. But that's impossible. As a wife needs to learn how to escape if the husband was violent. Need contact number competent person who can help when violence occurs. Routinely try (if possible) to bring the consultation.